I’m feeling muffled by my own self image of myself lol I mean, I’ve always been really sure and clear about my pro choice stance, it has been a certainty to me. I’ve never had a hint of doubt about the right of women to control their bodies, our bodies…
Thing is I’ve been living this “ideal” way too closely lately. And I’m facing serious doubts about the repercussions “having a choice” is having within my society.
I myself wouldn’t do it to be perfectly honest, but I always thought it was women right to chose, and that I still think it. I still think it’s every women right to decide if she wants to be a mother or not and when she’d want to be a mom. So far I’m still good with it.
But you see, this year only within my closest personal circle (in laws, close friends) I’ve witnessed and accompanied 4 women to get abortions, 4 adults, professional, capable women to the abortion clinic to “get rid” of the inconvenience… And it have wounded me every single time.
I just … I just don’t “feel” it’s right.
Those were lives that could have been full of joy and love… But that’s not what causes me more pain, it’s actually the cold indifference and the lack of struggle I see to take such a drastic measure… It means nothing to them and I guess that’s cool cuz there’s no sadness or repentance, it’s like nothing happened…
So I think I should change my stance on it from “pro choice” to a I strongly support birth control but not abortion.
It’s hard to even think about it. But that’s how I feel 😦
Water colors on notebook page. Inspired by a thought Leny wrote to me few nights ago. Hair filtering what comes out : P